Random thoughts on something I overheard

I recently overheard a mom say to her kid(s), "OMG." My first thought is, do people -- people that aren't just trying to seem cool -- really actually say, "OMG"? And if they do, why? I sort of understand the use of OMG as textspeak to save time and a few characters, but in an actual conversation, you don't save anything. OMG = three syllables. Oh my god = three syllables.

Maybe she just doesn't like to use the word "god." I can respect that, but the G definitely implies "god." Besides that, she could have just as easily (and quickly) said, "Oh my gosh." That's still three syllables. (All of which makes me wonder if implied swear words are really that much better than actual swear words when it comes to what we're teaching kids. Is saying "fudge" or "effing" really a better alternative to dropping the F-bomb?)

I've never heard people use other textspeak in real conversations. I've never heard someone say, "WTF" or "LOL." (Although, the S.O. and I have taken to sometimes saying, "Why the face." We picked it up from an episode of "Modern Family." The dad is explaining textspeak: LOL is laugh out loud. OMG is oh my god, WTF is why the face.) So why would someone say OMG? I just didn't get it. I have to wonder if I'm that out of touch or if that mom is.

Then again, I didn't hear the entire conversation. Maybe she said it because someone asked her how to say oh my god in textspeak. IDK*

*That's "I don't know" for us non-textspeakers.

Dee-sgust-ting

You know what really, really sucks? When you think your significant other has canceled your home milk delivery -- which comes Thursday mornings -- only to discover Sunday evening that he hadn't. Sunday evening -- after four near-90-degree days -- you find that not only does milk not keep in a non-iced cooler, it will actually turn to cheese and blow the top off the jug.


WARNING: If you are drinking milk or eating cheese right now, look away!

The orange juice wasn't disgusting, just an additional loss.

The whole thing smelled like feet.

Yeah, I missed it

I was totally going to post something on my Fourth Anniversary of Blogging. But I missed it. I posted the two days after and mentioned nothing of the actual anniversary.
As I'm trying to be really productive today, I thought I would post something here -- something PROFOUND. But trying to be productive doesn't equal actually being productive. So, I give you:Monkey. This is the very first picture I posted on this blog. Monkey sits at the top of the Space Needle, and at one time, Monkey was going to travel the globe and post pictures of his *ramblings* (ala Flat Stanley). Unfortunately, Monkey got laid off from his full-time job and can't afford to travel. In fact, I'm pretty sure Monkey is living in a storage unit at the moment.

Gee, now I feel bad that Monkey didn't get to go to England with me, and he's never been skiing. I should probably figure out where the heck Monkey is. Or I could take Monkeey with me next time I travel. She's a bit more compact.Plus, she's waving and smiling, instead of sitting there with a dumb look on her face. I think it was the job Monkey had. I think it sucked the life out of him. I know it did me.

Here's to another four years of Rambling -- be it the kind of rambling I did here in this post or some actual rambling around the world. I hope you'll join me.

It's time again for ...

Fun with Spam!

Starring: the 2010 Edition of Presidential Who's Who

Dear Pam,

You were recently chosen as a potential candidate to represent your professional community in the 2010 Edition of Presidential Who's Who.

We are pleased to inform you that your candidacy was formally approved June 3rd, 2010. Congratulations. The Publishing Committee selected you as a potential candidate based not only upon your current standing, but focusing as well on criteria from executive and professional directories, associations, and trade journals. Given your background, the Director believes your profile makes a fitting addition to our publication.

I'll stop there because you get the picture. I have been "formally approved" as a candidate for the 2010 Edition of Presidential Who's Who. Ooh. Prestigiousy. I, who work part-time and do freelance work, have a profile that makes "a fitting addition" their publication. And they're basing it on my "current standing" -- you know, my standing as a part-time employee, a failed writer and a sort-of student -- and on criteria "executive and professional" blah blah blah.

I've been getting different "Who's Who" e-mails delivered to my "work" address over the past few months. I mark each one spam and do not click the unsubscribe link. Which, by the way, has "moneymaker" in its address. Sheesh.

From the in-case-I-didn't-mention-it file

The S.O. has decided to take flying lessons.

Which I fully support because he's excited about it. But look at that tiny little plane. Scary. The only downside is that the weather has been pretty uncooperative for him -- high winds, fog -- and he hasn't gotten as many hours logged as he'd like. Still, I like to think one day he'll get his pilot's license and jet us off to some exotic locale for a romantic getaway.

Shut up. A girl can dream.

Vaguey McVaguerson and her opinion

I know I have a really -- no, I mean, Really -- terrible track record when it comes to marriage and relationships, but it seems to me if you're hacking into your husband's e-mail to see who his contacts are, you may have trust issues. And your marital problems are bigger than you may realize.

I also know the person I'm talking about doesn't read my Blog, but just in case: I have my own shit to deal with, honey. I don't want your husband.

Thanks. I feel better now.

OK, Mother Nature, just stop it

You know, I hate to be one of those people who always bitches about the weather. But I can't help it. Seriously, it was snowing here just three weeks ago, and today, the weather forecasters are saying the temperature is going to be near 100 degrees.

Maybe I wouldn't complain if we had air conditioning. Wait. No. This is me we're talking about. Of course I'd complain. It's what I do. I'll just have to think cool thoughts today. Or find a nice WiFi spot with a/c.

In the meantime, check out this nest on our house. It's not a very good picture, because I had to zoom in from my office window. But it's the coolest looking thing. It's perfectly round. At first I thought it was some kind of light the S.O. put up. It's that symmetrical.The S.O. knocked it down from the eaves. No one was home in the nest, so he didn't get stung -- except by the deck chair that ripped the skin off his shin. Don't worry, no pics of that. But here's a closer look at the nest.
Not sure who it belonged to exactly. We have had paper wasps' nests, mud dauber nests and yellow jacket nests and none of them have looked quite like this.

Any ideas? Also, any ideas on how to keep all these critters from nesting in our eaves? Because these nests look really cool, but I really, really, really hate flying stinging things.

Behind the red door

Or what I did with my three-day weekend

The S.O. and I have talked about moving out of our current house for a few years now. At one time, we thought we were moving to Oregon. When that didn't happen (for which I'm very glad now), we thought we'd still like to live in another part of town.

Slowly, we made upgrades and changes to the house -- things we thought would make it more marketable and at the same time, things we would be able to enjoy.

The front door was one of those things that wasn't a big deal, but something we thought would look nice if we fixed it up. Originally, the door was a plain wood door -- well "wood" might be more appropriate. But it was very faded and just kind of blah.

Now, it's red -- technically "borscht" -- and quite striking, if I do say so myself.

And it had better, because despite the fact that we spent the extra money to get the supposedly high-quality paint AND primer, it took three coats to get the coverage we wanted. So, what were we doing at 10 p.m. Sunday evening? We were waiting for paint to dry so we could rehang the door and go to bed ... just so we could take it back down Monday to add one more coat. All in all, it took us something like 15+ hours to paint one door. Ugh.

OK, sure we also attended a barbecue and watched UFC at a friend's house over the weekend. But the biggest part of the long weekend was spent watching paint dry. And it's just as exciting as it sounds.

Mutant strawberry

I baked a cake last weekend for the S.O.'s birthday. It was a lemon cake with vanilla frosting, and I sliced fresh strawberries to put on top.

It was not a beautiful cake but it was quite tasty.

You can't tell from the picture of the cake, but there were a few strawberries in the batch that were huge. They weren't just kind of big; they were seriously, massively, monstrously giant.


Look:

Lest you think that's Photoshopped (which I don't have, by the way), here's another for perspective.

The strawberry on the left is still larger than average and it's dwarfed by the mutant strawberry.

That big old thing tasted just like any other strawberry though. And since consuming it, I have not developed any special powers.

And yet, I know he'll just break my heart again

There is something oh-so-charming about Jason Lee in this promo.



Still, I don't know if I can ever fully forgive him for "Alvin and the F'ing Chipmunks."

Fun with Spam!

Today in Fun with Spam, I share a "Privet!" e-mail I received (It was sent to me and two other people! Very "privet" indeed.):

Good day, my dear friend

Don't put your heart in someone's hands until you're sure that they know how to hold it… That is why I think, that two persons have to become friends first of all. I guess one letter isn't enough to know person well enough but I will try. I don't like noisy parties at the restaurants. I like to cook and do it not bad. I'm happy to meet good people. I like to dance, visit dance studio. I like flowers. I live in house with a small garden. There are many flowers in my garden and that is the place where I have a rest in spring and summer. In my sole I am a romantic person. I am also attractive woman and I do everything to be in a good form. Here (link redacted) I am looking for my second part for to share my life with.

While I am also happy to meet good people. I think I'll pass.