I didn't fall off the face of the earth

Although I might have come close.I spent the past three weeks entertaining my 14-year-old niece. We did a lot of fun stuff -- like driving to the top of Pikes Peak with the S.O., watching a professional soccer game in Denver and visiting the zoo.

Look out! It's coming right for us!

We also did some relaxing stuff, like painting ceramics at Puttin' on the Paint, shopping, watching movies and completing the "World's Smallest 1,000-Piece Puzzle."

It was really hard to send her home -- although I know she and her dad were ready to see each other again -- and I think even the dog misses her.

I sure hope she doesn't outgrow her aunt in the next year. I'd like to make her summer visits an annual thing.

Country music remembrances

In which part of an e-mail exchange poses as a blog post, and I show my age and nerdity.

Me: (in response to a link to "Whatcha Gonna Do With a Cowboy" by Chris LeDoux) Yeee haw!

He: Among my many musical oddities: I like country music that sounds like older country and western -- like that. Country song popular in the 1960s or 1970s? I probably know all the words.

Me: I grew up listening to (or being forced to listen to) the likes of Freddy Fender, Tom T. Hall, Conway Twitty and others. I can still listen to Willie Nelson and Johnny Cash, but most of the new country just sounds like twangy pop to me. So I can understand your "musical oddities."

He: So you... you remember the year that Clayton Delaney died?? (/arcane test)

Me: No. But I do remember the night that the lights went out in Georgia. And that day Billy Joe McAllister jumped off the Tallahatchie Bridge.

He: He jumped because ROBBY BENSON DIDN'T GET THE OSCAR FOR THAT ROLE!! Ahem. The preceding microrant was gayer than a sequined handbag full of rainbows.

Me: Robby Benson WAS dreamy.

My apologies to those of you too young and/or hip to get the references. And even more apologies to those of you old enough and/or nerdy enough to get the references -- your ear worm of the day.

What a view

I went with the S.O. today on his flight lesson. It was very cool. Here I am pre-flight.

I took some cool pictures.

(Do you think aliens made the smiley face in the field?)

We flew over Garden of the Gods.

The S.O. performed a "touch and go" at the Colorado Springs, and we hit some turbulence.

Then I threw up.

Yes, it was awesome.

What I watched: "The Orphanage"

Let me say this first: What the hell took me so long to discover that Netflix had this "watch instantly" feature?!?

The S.O. and I use Blockbuster Online because he can get coupons for free games and we can return our movies to the store to exchange them for other movies. So we will probably keep that. But Netflix has already been worth the $10 I spend on it. I have watched the entire first season of "Better Off Ted" (If you haven't watched it, do. It's been canceled but it's hilarious.), a couple episodes of other series and several movies -- all instantly. (Plus a couple of DVDs.)

Last night, while the S.O. was at ground school, I watched "The Orphanage," a 2007 Spanish ghost story. It's dark and tense and doesn't rely on cheap tricks to scare you.

I sat alone in the dark, clutching my pillow, watching this suspenseful story of a mother's search for her child, never really sure if it was a ghost story or a story of her descent into madness. If you enjoy foreign films or movies like "The Others," I recommend "The Orphanage."

On the other hand, if you hate reading subtitles or find yourself constantly questioning why a character would go into that room alone, this might not be the film for you.

Yeah, I missed it

I was totally going to post something on my Fourth Anniversary of Blogging. But I missed it. I posted the two days after and mentioned nothing of the actual anniversary.
As I'm trying to be really productive today, I thought I would post something here -- something PROFOUND. But trying to be productive doesn't equal actually being productive. So, I give you:Monkey. This is the very first picture I posted on this blog. Monkey sits at the top of the Space Needle, and at one time, Monkey was going to travel the globe and post pictures of his *ramblings* (ala Flat Stanley). Unfortunately, Monkey got laid off from his full-time job and can't afford to travel. In fact, I'm pretty sure Monkey is living in a storage unit at the moment.

Gee, now I feel bad that Monkey didn't get to go to England with me, and he's never been skiing. I should probably figure out where the heck Monkey is. Or I could take Monkeey with me next time I travel. She's a bit more compact.Plus, she's waving and smiling, instead of sitting there with a dumb look on her face. I think it was the job Monkey had. I think it sucked the life out of him. I know it did me.

Here's to another four years of Rambling -- be it the kind of rambling I did here in this post or some actual rambling around the world. I hope you'll join me.

Me = Happy

This person

(who is awesome, by the way)
is going to spend three weeks with me next month. Yay!

Worry Wart

A couple of weeks ago, my wonderful, talented friend Lisa of Grandma's Briefs asked, "What's one thing you used to worry about that you no longer do?"

My response (in the comments) was, "Does there really come a time when I can stop worrying about something? I look forward to that day. I'm a chronic worrier. I even worry that I worry too much."

Which brings us to this "Heart of the City" comic strip:

Click to enlarge

I'm beginning to think every aspect of my life can be related to one of three things: (1) comic strips, (2) reruns of "Friends" or (3) an episode of "The Simpsons."

And you know, it worries me.

But dammit he is so cute

Last month, I told you about Jason Lee's new television project, "Memphis Beat." I also told you I was intrigued, yet skeptical.

Today, one of those big ol' banner ads for the show displayed on a totally unrelated Web site (I was looking for an article about fruits and vegetables on wholeliving.com!).

I'm pretty sure it's a sign from the Television Gods, telling me to watch this program and maybe give Jason Lee another chance. After all, I don't have to personally watch those chipmunk travesties. And I did love him in "Chasing Amy," "Mallrats" and "My Name is Earl."

OK, sure, it could be that TNT is just really pushing this show, but I prefer to believe in the Television Gods theory. After all, who else has always been there for me, if not the warm, loving glow of TV.

And he is looking awfully damn cute, I must admit.

Don't you judge me.

I'm sure you have your obsessions.

It's time again for ...

Fun with Spam!

Starring: the 2010 Edition of Presidential Who's Who

Dear Pam,

You were recently chosen as a potential candidate to represent your professional community in the 2010 Edition of Presidential Who's Who.

We are pleased to inform you that your candidacy was formally approved June 3rd, 2010. Congratulations. The Publishing Committee selected you as a potential candidate based not only upon your current standing, but focusing as well on criteria from executive and professional directories, associations, and trade journals. Given your background, the Director believes your profile makes a fitting addition to our publication.

I'll stop there because you get the picture. I have been "formally approved" as a candidate for the 2010 Edition of Presidential Who's Who. Ooh. Prestigiousy. I, who work part-time and do freelance work, have a profile that makes "a fitting addition" their publication. And they're basing it on my "current standing" -- you know, my standing as a part-time employee, a failed writer and a sort-of student -- and on criteria "executive and professional" blah blah blah.

I've been getting different "Who's Who" e-mails delivered to my "work" address over the past few months. I mark each one spam and do not click the unsubscribe link. Which, by the way, has "moneymaker" in its address. Sheesh.

Cheesy TV and me

I have a confession to make. Last night I spent nearly three hours watching "Ghost Whisperer" reruns on SyFy. I'm not sure how it happened. The remote was right next to me. I have a library of DVDs I can watch. I have both a Blockbuster Online and a Netflix subscription. I even have a bunch of (quality) movies recorded on the DVR.

Maybe it was the fact that I was working on a writing project at the same time (I will have to go re-read that to make sure it's coherent). Maybe I just needed some mindless entertainment in the background while I worked (I didn't seem to be getting much done sitting at my desk).

The most disturbing part was that I kinda, sorta liked it. I know! Don't judge me. It's not like I'll be seeking it out or anything. It's not as if I checked and found out that SyFy plays four-hour blocks of "Ghost Whisperer" every Monday. Or that it's on every weeknight on Ion Television (Comcast channel 26).

OK, so maybe I need a Cheesy TV intervention.

From the in-case-I-didn't-mention-it file

The S.O. has decided to take flying lessons.

Which I fully support because he's excited about it. But look at that tiny little plane. Scary. The only downside is that the weather has been pretty uncooperative for him -- high winds, fog -- and he hasn't gotten as many hours logged as he'd like. Still, I like to think one day he'll get his pilot's license and jet us off to some exotic locale for a romantic getaway.

Shut up. A girl can dream.

Vaguey McVaguerson and her opinion

I know I have a really -- no, I mean, Really -- terrible track record when it comes to marriage and relationships, but it seems to me if you're hacking into your husband's e-mail to see who his contacts are, you may have trust issues. And your marital problems are bigger than you may realize.

I also know the person I'm talking about doesn't read my Blog, but just in case: I have my own shit to deal with, honey. I don't want your husband.

Thanks. I feel better now.

OK, Mother Nature, just stop it

You know, I hate to be one of those people who always bitches about the weather. But I can't help it. Seriously, it was snowing here just three weeks ago, and today, the weather forecasters are saying the temperature is going to be near 100 degrees.

Maybe I wouldn't complain if we had air conditioning. Wait. No. This is me we're talking about. Of course I'd complain. It's what I do. I'll just have to think cool thoughts today. Or find a nice WiFi spot with a/c.

In the meantime, check out this nest on our house. It's not a very good picture, because I had to zoom in from my office window. But it's the coolest looking thing. It's perfectly round. At first I thought it was some kind of light the S.O. put up. It's that symmetrical.The S.O. knocked it down from the eaves. No one was home in the nest, so he didn't get stung -- except by the deck chair that ripped the skin off his shin. Don't worry, no pics of that. But here's a closer look at the nest.
Not sure who it belonged to exactly. We have had paper wasps' nests, mud dauber nests and yellow jacket nests and none of them have looked quite like this.

Any ideas? Also, any ideas on how to keep all these critters from nesting in our eaves? Because these nests look really cool, but I really, really, really hate flying stinging things.

Am I the only person who thinks nouns should stay nouns?

Surely not. However, I came across this little gem today:

The Associated Press has just informed our editorial department that "unfriend" is officially a word.

So, not only is "unfriend" officially a word, it's OK to use it as a verb? I don't accept "friend" as a verb. I don't really like "text" used as a verb.

But then again, I'm a word nerd and a grammar Nazi. So maybe my opinion is that of an old curmudgeon.

What I made for dinner: Paprika Shrimp and Green Bean Saute

(From EatingWell Healthy in a Hurry)

Ingredients

• 4 cups green beans, trimmed (about 12 ounces)
• 1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil
• 1/4 cup minced garlic
• 2 teaspoons paprika
• 1 pound raw shrimp, peeled and de-veined
• 2 16-ounce cans large butter beans, or cannellini beans, rinsed
• 1/4 cup sherry vinegar, or red-wine vinegar
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 cup chopped fresh parsley, divided
• Freshly ground pepper, to taste

Preparation

1. Bring 1 inch of water to a boil in a large saucepan. Put green beans in a steamer basket, place in the pan, cover and steam until tender-crisp, 4 to 6 minutes.
2. Meanwhile, heat oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Add garlic and paprika and cook, stirring constantly, until just fragrant but not browned, about 20 seconds. Add shrimp and cook until pink and opaque, about 2 minutes per side. Stir in beans, vinegar and salt; cook, stirring occasionally, until heated through, about 2 minutes. Stir in 1/4 cup parsley.
3. Divide the green beans among 4 plates. Top with the shrimp mixture. Sprinkle with pepper and the remaining 1/4 cup parsley.

Makes 4 servings (but I cut it all in half for the S.O. and me).

This dish was super easy (I bought shrimp that was already de-veined!) and really delicious -- for those out there who like shrimp and green beans, of course.

Behind the red door

Or what I did with my three-day weekend

The S.O. and I have talked about moving out of our current house for a few years now. At one time, we thought we were moving to Oregon. When that didn't happen (for which I'm very glad now), we thought we'd still like to live in another part of town.

Slowly, we made upgrades and changes to the house -- things we thought would make it more marketable and at the same time, things we would be able to enjoy.

The front door was one of those things that wasn't a big deal, but something we thought would look nice if we fixed it up. Originally, the door was a plain wood door -- well "wood" might be more appropriate. But it was very faded and just kind of blah.

Now, it's red -- technically "borscht" -- and quite striking, if I do say so myself.

And it had better, because despite the fact that we spent the extra money to get the supposedly high-quality paint AND primer, it took three coats to get the coverage we wanted. So, what were we doing at 10 p.m. Sunday evening? We were waiting for paint to dry so we could rehang the door and go to bed ... just so we could take it back down Monday to add one more coat. All in all, it took us something like 15+ hours to paint one door. Ugh.

OK, sure we also attended a barbecue and watched UFC at a friend's house over the weekend. But the biggest part of the long weekend was spent watching paint dry. And it's just as exciting as it sounds.

Animal tales

My dear and talented friend Lisa over at Grandma's Briefs is sending her grandson a tortoise -- no not a real tortoise -- a very cute plastic tortoise. It's in honor of World Turtle Day and ... oh just go read her post (if you haven't already). Her post led her to ask: "Did you or anyone you know have a turtle when you were a kid?"

Which got me to thinking about the animals we did have as kids. Because with three boys in the house, it seemed someone was always bringing home some kind of orphaned animal (and by "someone" I mean "Joe.")

I have vague memories of baby rabbits and snapping turtles and squirrels, but the most memorable was JoJo the Raccoon. He was orphaned (don't ask me to tell you how he was "orphaned," please) at our friend's farm and came home with us. It was like something straight off Wild Kingdom. And he was the cutest damn thing. Look.

Yep. That's me -- cuddling a wild freaking animal. And before you think my parents were irresponsible, he was actually quite tame. We fed him grapes and scrambled eggs. And somewhere in my old photos, I have a picture of him inside my Barbie camper. (It was quite traumatic for Barbie and Ken. Ken lost an arm in the attack.)

Unfortunately, as raccoons reach sexual maturity, they become more and more aggressive. Knowing this, we took him to a local petting zoo well before that day came. Technically, it's a turn-of-the-century replica farm and it's still operating today. And technically, no one was actually allowed to pet JoJo or his buddy Ricky. But we were able to go and visit him a few more times before he was released into the wild.

Well, that's what I was told. And that's what I still choose to believe. If you have other theories about "released into the wild," I'd prefer you keep them to yourself.

Mutant strawberry

I baked a cake last weekend for the S.O.'s birthday. It was a lemon cake with vanilla frosting, and I sliced fresh strawberries to put on top.

It was not a beautiful cake but it was quite tasty.

You can't tell from the picture of the cake, but there were a few strawberries in the batch that were huge. They weren't just kind of big; they were seriously, massively, monstrously giant.


Look:

Lest you think that's Photoshopped (which I don't have, by the way), here's another for perspective.

The strawberry on the left is still larger than average and it's dwarfed by the mutant strawberry.

That big old thing tasted just like any other strawberry though. And since consuming it, I have not developed any special powers.

And yet, I know he'll just break my heart again

There is something oh-so-charming about Jason Lee in this promo.



Still, I don't know if I can ever fully forgive him for "Alvin and the F'ing Chipmunks."

Hello, everybody!

Don't you just hate it when people don't update their blog? Yeah, me too.

So, to update:

• I am studying away to become a personal trainer, as well as working out more so I can be a good example to clients.
• I am still writing test drives but am feeling kind of burned out on them and am (still) seriously considering not doing any more after the summer. However, that means the only writing I'll be doing will be on blogs. But that counts, right?
• The S.O. and I are trying to decide if we want to return to my home town in a couple weeks for my niece's 8th grade graduation. We don't want to stay at my dad's house -- for a variety of reasons -- but also don't feel like having to explain that to him. Any ideas?
• Ripley is almost completely back to normal. Her hair has mostly grown back, and she's up to her old shenanigans.
• Saturday marks the six-year anniversary of my first date with the S.O. Time is scary.

OK, I think that brings us up to date. When I can think of something more profound -- or at least funny -- to write about, I will. But at least I'm not a total blog slacker.

UPDATE: Oh, and I'm playing with the blogs layout because I was tired of the generic template. if you like it, let me know. If you hate it, you can shut the hell up. (Oh, I'm kidding. Let me know if you hate it. It's a work in progress.)