The dangers of static cling

Today, a co-worker was walking along the hallway toward me. As she turned a corner before reaching me, I noticed something fall behind her. At first I thought it was a hair scrunchie, although she’s not the hair scrunchie type. Then I realized what it actually was — a pair of black thong panties. Apparently they had stuck to her shirt or inside her pant leg and fell out as she walked through the office. I picked them up (I assume they were clean) and surreptitiously returned them to her. Because I’m immature, I have been giggling about this for the past six hours. I can only imagine if someone else had picked them up and turned them into lost and found. I think the company-wide email would read something like this: “If you’ve lost a pair of black thong panties, you can claim them at the reception desk.”

The moral of the story: use plenty of fabric softener and always sort your clothes carefully.

Budget cuts and self-flushing toilets

A few months ago my company laid off 30 people due to budget cuts. It was tough all over. The very next Monday, there were seven open positions listed on the internal job site. It seemed to me that there may have been someone laid off who would have an interest in one of those positions. Maybe not the best fit for everyone, but some people might have wanted to stay with the company regardless. Not the best timing in any case.

Today, we have brand new faucets in the ladies room and fancy self-flushing toilets. I love modern conveniences, but whose salary paid for me to not have to flush a toilet? And don’t talk to me about capital improvements and how salaries come out of a different budget. It’s robbing Peter to pay Paul, and it pisses me off.