Friday, April 25, 2008


We left the house for a couple of hours this morning. When we came back, the dog was chewing on her rawhide bone, and the cat was playing with his catnip mouse. What's so strange about that? Both the mouse and the bone were on top of the refrigerator.

I know which animal has the dexterity to make his way onto the refrigerator and retrieve his mouse. What I don't know is how the dog convinced him to also get her bone down. I'm thinking we may have to set up a nanny-cam if we're going to leave these two home alone.

I think it would work

Good idea, Heather.

What do you believe in?

I don't have a whole lot to say about this post:

But I do think it's awesome. I'd also like to see a Buddha tag (with laughing Buddha), a Druid tag (with Stonehenge) and an agnostic tag (with a big question mark). A UFO tag would be good too, because there are people who believe that's where we come from.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

What I'm reading: "Never Let Me Go" by Kazuo Ishiguro

I don't remember how this book got on my list. I thought a friend recommended it, but the ones I've asked haven't read it. Maybe it was on my recommendations from Amazon. However it got on my list, I'm glad it did. I've read several books by Ha Jin and other Asian writers, so I think I was expecting something along those lines, given the writer's name. However, Ishiguro, though born in Nagasaki, Japan, moved to Britain at the age of 5. He's also the author of "The Remains of the Day," and like that book, "Never Let Me Go" is thoroughly English.

Set in an idyllic, private English school, the story is about much more than the main character's coming of age. I enjoyed Kathy H.'s stories of her time at Hailsham with Ruth and Tommy. Thier adventures much like those of other thirteen-year-olds -- giggling over boys, listening to music, painting, playing sports. But I realized that something was odd. None of the children spoke of their parents or going away on holiday or anything about siblings. I hate to say much more about the plot in case there are others who want to come to this book as I did -- clueless.

It was a delight to have a story unfold without previously knowing what was going to happen. I've grown so used to knowing exactly what a movie is about because the trailers tell everything. Then, they're often so predictable, I feel I could have written the screenplay. Books are not promoted like movies (for the most part), so it's a little easier to go into a book without knowing everything about it. But how often do we pick up a book without at least an inkling of its plot? This book was such a pleasant surprise, I read it in just a few days. While the book has an unusual twist about it, it never lets go of the characters and their feelings. Ultimately, it really is a coming of age story.

Mary Louise Lard, June 26, 1937 - Feb. 8, 2008

Mom often told me the details of the day of my birth -- not how many hours she was in labor or how bad the pain was or whether or not drugs were administered. But I heard often how it was the coldest day on record -- temperatures dipping to well-below zero. How even though I was a big baby -- weighing in at 8 pounds, 10 ounces and bigger than my three older brothers -- the doctors and nurses couldn't get my temperature up, and I was placed in an incubator. I wonder now if this is the reason I feel cold all the time.

It never occurred to me that my birth may have been difficult for my mom or that her pregnancy was anything but easy. I don't know if it ever occurred to her. It wasn't like her to complain or to speak of her children as burdens. I believe we were a source of pride. But she was never one to brag, not about her kids, not about herself. She was self-deprecating, to a fault. But she was talented -- she knit, she sewed, she made the most amazing cakes that were like works of art. At the age of 70, she was learning to use a computer.

I wasn't ready to say goodbye. I can only hope that when I become a mom, I do as good a job as she did.

Still here

It's been hard to write here since my significant other's father died back in October. So much has happened it's difficult to organize it all.

Just before Christmas, my mom was hospitalized for heart problems. After two procedures to shock her heart back into a normal rhythm, she succumbed to heart disease and died in her sleep Feb. 8 at the age of 70. It was heart wrenching and I wasn't ready for it.

And last week I lost my job of 7 1/2 years. It was like a punch in the gut. Ultimately, I know it will be a good thing. I have some time to decide what to do next and I'll be doing some freelance writing. And it will give me time to do some writing on my own. So, if anyone's still out there, stay with me. I'll be writing more. Some of it may be pretty personal -- feelings about losing my mom. Some of it may be weird -- I'm seeing a fertility doctor and taking some tests. And some of it may just be silly -- there's some bizarre shit in the world. It may just be cathartic for me, and you may find yourself drifting off while reading. If so, I apologize. If not, thanks for being there.