Current TV's "Infomania" (which you can watch here) has a segment called "We've Got You Covered." Which gives an overview of what's happening in magazines. Within that segment, they have something called "How the @#*! is this a magazine?" In that vein, I bring you "How the @#*! is this a real product advertised in a magazine?"
In the back of the S.O.'s "Men's Fitness," there is an ad for this product: The Goatee Saver. It's a template to help guys shave their goatee. Or as the Web site says, "an innovative grooming tool designed to give you the perfect goatee every time you shave."
I'm thinking the model on the Web site may have Photoshopped his goatee. I don't know any guy who has facial hair that looks quite like that. I'm also thinking if you need some kind of pattern to help you cut your goatee -- a template that you appear to have to hold in your mouth while you shave, no less -- maybe you should forgo the facial hair all together. It's just a thought.
On the other hand, "grooming perfection makes a perfect gift for that hard-to-buy-for guy."