Nevermind that my guitar is acoustic, I don't know how to play it and for that matter, haven't played an instrument since 7th grade. Nevermind that the only women older than I am who are still rockin' have been doing so for three decades or more.
None of that matters, because now that I have held this guitar in my hands (a birthday gift from the S.O.), I will be a rock star.
Becoming a rock star was inevitable, really -- all those hours glued in front of the television during the heyday of MTV (back when they played music videos 24 hours a day), the endless lip-synching sessions in front of my full-length mirror with my hairbrush microphone and my audience of adoring stuffed-animal fans. And -- the best part -- I probably already have some hearing damage thanks to Sony.
I know how to read music (mostly) and I already have the start of callouses on my finger tips (due to not being able to put the guitar down yesterday). I've already learned one chord. So it's just a matter of time before you're all stealing my music off the internet and begging me for front row seats to my next concert.
That, or maybe, by next Christmas, Lisa and I can perform a duet that doesn't suck.